Eat. Sleep. Poop. Repeat.

I love my baby, but, if I’m completely honest, she’s kind of boring. After the first month or two, life with a new baby can get a little…monotonous…tedious…dull. I feel I’m betraying my role of admiring mother by allowing anything other than doting, affectionate compliments about my sweet baby out of my escape my lips. It’s been a few months and now that I’ve (kind of) got the hang of this whole baby thing, my daily schedule seems to be getting a little repetitive. Eat. Sleep. Poop. Eat. Sleep. Poop.  Eat. Sleep. Poop. Notice a pattern?

The first weeks after bringing my daughter home were the most exhausting, nerve-wracking and emotional days of my life. Every day was a marathon of “I don’t know!” and “Is this normal?” and “I’ll call mom!” or the always unwise, “Google it.” Despite reading What to Expect cover to cover, subscribing to several mommy blogs and stocking the house with all the (un)necessary supplies, nothing had prepared me for the avalanche of unknowns that also came home from the hospital…

At first, the days passed quickly because they were full of mini panics. If she cried, I panicked. If she spits up, I panicked. When she slept, I tried to sleep…or eat, or shower, or clean. I will say the hardest thing to do is decide what to prioritize during naptime. Should I eat, sleep or…you get the idea. Now the days have a pattern and not everything is an unanticipated, melodramatic emergency. Eat. Sleep. Poop. Eat. Sleep. Poop.

As with all big life changes, eventually you get used to them and they become the new normal. I’m used to being perpetually exhausted. I’m used to my daily uniform of old t-shirts and leggings. I’m used to the smell of baby vomit. I’m used to feeling like one of those exceptionally uncoordinated individuals you see in the infomercials every time I want to leave the house (you know the people who can’t use a flashlight or a frying pan correctly). Seriously, it takes some thoughtful planning, several large pieces of equipment and practically a suitcase to go anywhere with a baby.  I picture other people looking at me struggling to unfold a stroller in a Walmart parking lot the same way I look at the actors struggling to use a blanket in a Snuggie commercial…Eventually I’ll figure that thing out too.

One day, not long ago, my baby had napped, eaten and pooped. She had been serenaded with Billy Joel’s greatest hits. She had, unwillingly, done some tummy time. She strolled the usual loops through the neighborhood. She spent time smiling and cooing. I was out of ideas. I called my mom to ask, “Is there anything else I should be doing with her?” Shouldn’t I be teaching her shapes, colors and vowels? When do the infant acrobatics start? Is it okay to just let her sit in her bouncer? Surely I was forgetting something; after all I could only sing “Uptown Girl” so many times. To my dismay my mother just said, “Nope. They’re kind of boring.” Sigh. Okay then…Eat. Sleep. Joel. Stroll. Poop. Smile. Tummy time. Repeat.

I suppose my new found boredom should be considered a win-especially following some of the most tumultuous weeks of my life. Every noise no longer makes me question how I was qualified to leave the hospital with her. I now have time to shave both legs in the shower. I know what noise she makes right before she spits up on me (now if I could only remember to ALWAYS have a burb rag within arm’s reach). Bath time no longer requires that both parents be present…

Caring for a newborn baby is basically just eat, sleep, poop over and over again punctuated by a heart-melting smile or ear-piercing cry. Currently, my life is a bit like a Milli Villini concert (you know, stuck on repeat) and I guess I should learn to embrace the boredom. Cherish this phase. It won’t be long until she’s walking, talking, wearing makeup and borrowing the car.

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