15 Superpowers All Moms Have

Everyone can agree it takes a special individual to be a Mom. Moms are like Liam Neeson meets the X-Men: they have a very particular set of skills which are used to oppose anti-mutant terrorist organizations…Or maybe they just use their skills and super powers to keep tiny humans alive. Regardless, Mom’s should wear a cape every day! It’s common knowledge that once a mom brings home her little bundle of joy, she begins to exhibit some of these supernatural abilities:

  1. Superhuman Endurance: Signing up for a career with hours that are literally 24 hours a day, seven days per week, superhuman endurance (and maybe a minor caffeine dependency) is a requirement for the title of Mother.
  2. Night Vision: Because avoiding Legos, dog bones, a laundry basket and the coffee table in the dark while stumbling to a crying baby’s room definitely demands some stellar night vision abilities!
  3. Agility: Balancing a baby in one arm, a full cup of coffee in the other while managing not to trample the cat…Moms are basically Jackie Chan’s understudies.
  4. Precognition: Moves the phone before kiddo knocks over that drink, can stop an argument before it starts, can always see a nap in a kid’s near future…Yeah; Moms always know what’s going to happen before it does.
  5. Herculean Strength: You got a permit for those guns? Carrying a baby in a car seat, a diaper bag, seven backpacks, four coats AND a full coffee mug is not for the weak!
  6. Omnipresence: How does she do it? Does she have some sort of wizard-like mastery over time and space, employ a stunt double or is it that she possesses a super power? Moms always manage to be everywhere at all times.
  7. Illusion: They may as well be called Momgicians because they can work some magic! Hiding vegetables in the macaroni and cheese, making that lost something-or-other appear out of thin air, somehow making a doll’s head reattach like it had never fallen off in the first place; Moms are masters at illusion.
  8. Teleportation: At the sound of a cry or the ever suspicious silence, like a Star Trek character, Moms seem to appear out of nowhere as if walls, stairs and the laws of physics don’t apply.
  9. X-Ray Vision: She knows when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake and knows when you’re not cleaning your room like she asked. How? Because she has X-Ray vision and can see you, silly.
  10. Healing: From bumps and bruises to boo-boos and the common cold, Mom has the capability to stop tears and heal what ails you.
  11. Telepathy: How do they do that? Moms always knows when a kid is up-to-something or telling a white lie. It’s like they can read minds or something…
  12. Lightning Speed: How else are Moms able to catch a child about to fall backwards off the couch or grab them before they run full speed through a busy parking lot? The Flash has nothing on Mom!
  13. Omnilinguist: The only person who is able to correctly translate toddler babble into words: Mom. Take that, Rosetta Stone!
  14. Mind Control: A master manipulator, Mom can convince a child to eat their veggies, go to sleep and even clean their room. What else are they capable of?
  15. Love: Moms manage to endure a love so deep it should split them in two. Moms can love like no one else!

Moms may not wear star spangled underwear while wielding projectile tiaras, but they truly deserve the title of Superhero. Moms are the destroyer of monsters under the bed and the things that go bump in the night. Moms are the scales of justice in settling sibling rivalries. Moms adhere to a strict moral code in the teaching of good versus evil. Moms and their trusty sidekick, Coffee Black, continue tirelessly on their quest for peace at bedtime! They do not sleep; they do not ask for glory; they may not even shower every day, but they are, indeed, Superheroes among us!