Bedtime Routine

I swear, bedtime is the most trying time in our house. Thankfully, it is typically my husband’s duty. He is not a fan either, but he tends to choose it over cleaning up the dinner mess. I will gladly scrub pots and pans if it means avoiding yet another battle!

I’m tired, they’re tired, everyone is tired. Sometimes I would rather have my kids walking around like Pigpen from Peanuts than have to wrestle them clean.

We try to give fair warning, “Five more minutes, then it’s time to go up!”.

Five minutes pass. “OK, time to go up!”…drag feet until they are asked/told about twenty more times.

“Get nakey so we can do a tick check” (the joys of living in the Northeast!).
Seriously, how hard is it to take off your clothes?!? Ten minutes later, two naked babies are standing on the bathroom counter getting all of their crevices checked. “Did you put your clothes in the hamper?!” “No…” (add five minutes to the process).

“OK, Tubby Time!”.

“No, I want a shower!”…”But I want a tubby”. This battle goes on for at least another ten minutes, until my husband (trying VERY hard to keep his cool) raises his voice just enough and says, “Tubby Shower!…Get in, soap up, rinse off”.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?!

Nope. For the next million minutes, the boys splash each other, throw toys at each other, fight over who gets to sit next to the spigot or who gets to sit in the back. They argue over the amount of bubbles we put in and what soap to use.

Finally my husband says, “OK, time to rinse off…stand up and I’ll turn on the shower”… “But, but, but we didn’t even soap up yet!!!”

“ARGH!@#$%^&*!())!!”

Here come another ten minutes of lecturing about the importance of washing each and every part. “Make sure you get all of your folds and wrinkles!…Did you wash your butt?!…don’t forget your ears…Don’t do them in that order!!”.

Shower on.

“It’s too hot!”…”It’s too cold!”….”JUST RINSE OFF!!!!”

Shower off.

“Grab your towel….make sure you dry all of your parts”.

More dilly-dallying ensues.

“Time to floss”. This typically last twenty minutes or until one or both of the boys has a meltdown and begs us to do it.

“Time to brush”. Again, another twenty minutes and/or meltdown. “Rinse and tap.”…”Ah, no…don’t get it all over the mirror!!!”.

“OK, go pee (said in a completely and utterly exhausted voice). “In the potty, not on the floor!!!”.

“Go get jammies on and get in bed”…”How many books can we read?!?” “Ugh, you can each have one if you get your jammies on and get in bed right now”. (It still takes them at least five minutes). “AHH!, you’re hair is still soaked!” (five more minutes)

Books are read.

I lay in the bottom bed with our little one and my husband goes up top with our big guy. My husband falls asleep first…every. single. night.

Shortly after, my 3-year-old is passed out. I try to sneak out from under him.

“Mom!! (coming from the top bunk) don’t go!!!”…”Sorry Buddy, it’s already WAY past your bedtime and I have work to do. Snuggle with Daddy”.

The falling asleep thing takes anywhere from another ten minutes to an hour. Afterwards, my husband usually comes back downstairs on his own. Sometimes I have to go wake him up, just so we can both fall asleep on the couch minutes later.

 


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