Sleeping In

Let’s discuss the phenomenon known as “sleeping in”. Let’s start with the definition:

sleep in
phrasal verb of sleep

  1. remain asleep or in bed later than usual in the morning.

I don’t know about your kids, but our kids DO NOT sleep in. Ever. We have discussed the joys of sleeping in with them on several occasions, yet they just don’t grasp the concept. No matter how late they go to bed, they still insist on waking up at the butt crack of dawn.

And, of course, when they go to bed super late and still wake up super early, their all-day crankiness makes everyone around them cranky too.
We have tried bribing them…offering them treats if they sleep in. Nope, that doesn’t work either.

My husband and I have been together since college. We often reminisce about staying in bed until 1:00 p.m. on Saturday afternoons, schlepping ourselves to the dining hall for “breakfast” and then going about our business as active members of society.

We thought that installing blackout curtains in our children’s room would help our cause. If I had blackout curtains in my room I may never get out of bed, but them…doesn’t make a lick of difference, their sweet little internal clocks sound their alarms around 6:30 a.m. (though often earlier) every. single. day. Including weekends.

Now, my poor husband gets out of bed at 4:30 a.m. on weekdays, 7:00 a.m. (if he’s lucky) on weekends, functions all day and crawls into bed between 10:30 p.m. and midnight.
Last night, we let them camp out downstairs on the pull-out couch. We joked that they should stay there until at least 9:00 a.m., then make us breakfast in bed. Our three-year-old asked what we would like and I told him bacon and eggs. He laughed heartily while his older brother basically told us that we would be lucky if they got us bowls of cereal.

Here’s what really happened:

Shockingly, they stayed on the couch ALL night. They did not come up to their beds. They did not take over ours (win!) However, bright and early they came storming upstairs like a small herd of elephants…HOW can such tiny little bodies make such big noises and actually shake the house?!

“Mom…Dad…can we watch T.V.?!” (at least they asked).

“Sure.” (thinking we may actually squeeze in another hour of shut eye).

Baby elephants descend the stairs.

Baby elephants ascend the stairs.

“Mom…Dad…the T.V.’s not working! (the T.V. was working fine, they just couldn’t navigate the DVR functions)

I decided to let me husband navigate the situation.

“Just use the arrows to find your show”

“Okay!”

Baby Elephants down.

Eyes Close.

Baby Elephants up.

“We can’t find the show with the letters in the boxes”

“What show are you looking for?”

“Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules” (pretty sure this is a movie we rented from the library and not even on DVR).

“That’s a lot of letters.  How are you going to… nevermind.  Just put the letters in and then press ok”

“Okay!”

Baby Elephants Down.

Baby Elephants up.

“There’s no OK button on the T.V.  What do I push.”

“Look for a ‘search’ button or a magnifying glass”  (not really knowing if they exist, just buying time at this point).

“Okay!”

Baby Elephants Down.

Baby Elephants up.

“It’s not working”

“It’s broken. Give it up. Just put on PBS Kids”

“Umm… (knowing they’re trying to process how it would be broken if it was just working, and how he would know it’s broken, if he was just sleeping. Thankfully, they gave up) Okay!”

Baby Elephants down.

Quiet.  Eerie, eerie quiet.  Too quiet.  For too long.  I’m trying to close my eyes again, but my brain is now going through all of the possible scenarios leading to this quiet, calm stillness.

“OOOWWWW! MY BROTHER HIT ME!!!” our eldest cried.

Time to get out of bed!

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