The Game of Life begins when parents bring their little one home, Snug as a Bug in the Rug. Although you would love for them to sleep through the night in their Cribbage, don’t Count Your Chickens before they hatch! Because, before you know it, you will have Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.
Potty training can be a Trivial Pursuit that often comes with Toilet Trouble or a great big KerPlunk! And Guess Who gets to clean up those Rotten Apples?! Potty Training is not limited to the bathroom either. There will be at least one accident on the living room rug. Keep your eyes peeled to ensure that you Spot It.
As parents we want our children to eat what is best for them. Our Hungry, Hungry Hippos, however, have hopes and dreams that they will someday live in Candy Land and cause nothing but Aggravation when it comes to eating their fruits and vegetables! Forget Cooties and germs, the Five Second Rule is a must for any household with kiddos. If they don’t catch their crumbs, there will be a Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel in your house and you’ll be setting up a Mouse Trap or two.
Speaking of messes. If you want your Dream Home to be Perfection, make sure little Simon and Jacks help Pick Up Sticks and everything else they deposit inside and out. Not wanting to do chores often lead to a Family Feud and backtalk that will Boggle your mind. In which you reply,”You’re in big Trouble, Mister…Watch Ya Mouth! or you’ll be Sorry!”
School math will leave you Puzzled. You’ll need to use your Cranium and some serious Stratego to help your kids with their homework. Common Core will make you Connect Four with Phase 10 and Uno in a Tic-Tac-Toe like graph number Sequence, leaving your brain a jumbled mess of Scattergories and making just about as much sense as this sentence!
Kids are expensive. They will have a Monopoly on your money. Forget about Pay Day, you will be living Apples to Apples so that they can Go Fish and get a Ticket to Ride…Lucky Ducks! I don’t mean to be Taboo, but of course there is always the Risk that they will need an Operation after they fall from Chutes and Ladders, because let’s face it, kids never use slides appropriately. Perhaps less likely, they could be caught in a Twister. Face it, you’ll never own a Yahtzee.
Don’t even get me started on teenagers! You’ll be chauffeuring them to Mall Madness and have Ants in Your Pants when they play the Matching Game and bring their Mystery Date home. But Don’t Break the Ice by saying something dorky like “Hi-Ho! Cherry-O!”. Remember, you want to be the cool parent that has a Clue!
Although, each stage of childrearing is like being on a Battleship, before you know it you’ll have an empty nest. You may feel like your life is about to Topple without your kids, but eventually, it will hit you…Bingo! Now is your time to sit back, relax, sip on a Gin and tonic and watch everyone else’s Charades.