Ah Rules - Kid 101

Ah Rules


I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with rules.

Our family recently joined a well-known fitness facility, mostly to use their indoor and outdoor pools. At first, I thought that their rules were pretty standard. No running in the pool areas, no diving in under nine feet of water, no horseplay, etc. Yes, I was pretty miffed that I was not permitted to bring my glass water bottle into the pool area (despite it having a silicone cover), but rules are rules so I sucked it up and packed a bottle that is made out of stainless steel.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to realize that they have an obscene amount of rules. So many, that they can’t even keep them all straight! And many of them are rather absurd.

Let’s use the swimming pool for example. All children must wear a specific colored necklace to determine their swim level. OK, I can sorta get behind this rule because my children’s safety comes first. But, water can be dangerous no matter what your swim level. Shouldn’t the lifeguards be watching everyone equally regardless of their necklace color? God forbid a grownup drowns!

Or how about no holding your breath in the pool? When I told my husband this one, he nearly spits his water out. No seriously, you may not hold your breath while swimming underwater. Now, I appreciate them wanting to mold all of the young swimmers into the next Michael Phelps, but really?!

Here’s another one. No balls of any kind in the pool area. OK, I get this rule for the indoor pool, but the outdoor pool? What?! Why?? Um, hello…beachballs? Splash balls…aren’t they made specifically to be in water? This place is for kids right?!

Some of their rules don’t make any sense at all. Like, you may go under the rope from 3½ feet to 4 feet, but you have to get out of the pool and use the ladder when you go from 4 ½ feet to 5 feet, because that’s not confusing?!

Oh, it gets better.

Today, we decided to take advantage of the “free” childcare. Both of my kids are pretty social, so they begged to take turns in the playroom while the other was in swim lessons (that I have to pay for…on top of my membership). When I went to pick up my little guy, they said that he stayed inside the entire time. Apparently, in order to play on the soft rubber and grass playground, all children must wear closed shoes. Again, what?!? If I had a dollar for everytime my kids have been on our splintery mulch playground with flops or Crocs or no shoes at all…I’d…well, I’d be able to pay for our membership & lessons!

Now, we’ve only been members for about a month and a week of that we were on vacation, so I am certain that there are many, many more rules that we don’t even know about yet.

I am a rule follower through and through, but this is getting ridiculous! Maybe rules really are meant to be broken…



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