It was my birthday last week. The one day where I get to relax, put up my feet and get thoroughly spoilt. It’s just a shame my two little boys hadn’t read the memo.
All I really wanted was a lie in.
What I got was two boys bouncing on my bed an hour earlier than usual. Not only that, a rendition of Happy Birthday was screamed in my ear at point blank range. An almighty row broke out between the boys as to who was singing it the best and the loudest. This escalated into who could kiss and cuddle mummy first and resulted in me getting elbowed in side of the head. I tried to pretend I was still asleep and slipped quietly under the duvet. Happy Birthday to me!
All I wanted to do was take some quiet time to open my presents and cards
What I got was a conveyer belt of presents passed to me and then snatched immediately back out of my hands. They reassured me that were just ‘helping me’ unwrap the gifts as they ripped off wrapping paper at lightning speed. As the paper flew, each present was opened, reviewed and discarded. A book (where’s the pictures?), pyjamas (clothes are so boring) and perfume (yuk, that smells disgusting) managed to make the whole occasion just that little bit more special.
All I wanted was a nice shower whilst the boys ate their breakfast
What I got was the boys wanting to know why we weren’t all having breakfast in bed. Apparently that is what happens on birthdays and it was unacceptable that this tradition was not being recognised. As the boys reeled off the treats that they would like; pancakes, croissants, bar of chocolate, I sneaked off to the shower for some ‘me time’ and left The Husband to it.
All I wanted was a relaxing day
What I got was the normal rounds of cooking, cleaning, bum wiping and noise control. I was permitted to watch Ice Age 3 as they knew I hated it slightly less than the other crap they subject me to on Netflix. They are all heart.
All I wanted to blow out my candles and eat cake
What I got was an impassioned plea to blow the candles out on my behalf. As I took a deep breath and lent forward, the candles were already smoking. We then had to light them a further 4 times so they boys could relive the moment.
What the boys really wanted was their own birthday.
What they got was, a mum’s birthday. One where you are no longer open endless colorful presents packed with toys and games and longed for treats. One where there is no longer an elaborate cake adorned with a much-loved TV show or character. One where there is no longer jelly and ice cream and a mountain of sweets. One where there is no longer a house full of your best friends, playing musical bumps. It was all rather disappointing for them.
All I wanted was to share it with my family
What I got was, just that. Despite everything, it was a wonderful day full of laughter and love. It wasn’t all bad, Boy 1 said I could play with his Lego set whilst he was at school and Boy 2 allowed me to have the largest bit of cake, as long as he got the marzipan balloon. Fair enough.