Eff You Sugar!

It’s currently 8:22 P.M. and my almost four year old is STILL awake!!!

Why, you ask?

Because my husband thought it would be a brilliant idea to stop at our favorite ice cream place for milkshakes at 6:30 P.M.

For the record, this would have been a brilliant idea if my children were not involved, but since they were with him (while I was out buying wine for our weekend getaway with family friends…I know, I know, woe is me), they took part as well.

I swear, I’m a relatively healthy mom (despite my love of ice cream and wine). Hmm…I wonder if I could make a milkshake with wine!?

Anyhow, I swear I’m a relatively healthy mom. We avoid high fructose corn syrup and food dyes. We try to limit processed foods. We very rarely indulge in fast food…you get the picture.

I’m not trying to be all high & mighty. My kids still ingest plenty of sugar, but I generally try to avoid massive sugar overloads. Especially, right before bedtime (what was he thinking?!).

So, here we are. Our three-year-old is in the living room playing with every toy he can find. Singing the Star Spangled Banner, talking incessantly and driving us batshit crazy.

Our six-year-old, who knows (a little bit) better, just crept downstairs to retrieve a book. He attempted to convince us to let him read downstairs, but we sent him back up after my husband told both of them that they will never, ever get a treat past 4 P.M. again!

So, eff you, sugar!

Eff you for making us feel like horrible, terrible parents by having crack-like effects on our children.

Eff you for keeping my children awake.

Eff you for completely negating everything I did all day to utterly exhaust my children. I would have been better off letting them rot in front of the television (at least I would have been able to get my work done). But no…I took them to swim lessons, had a picnic on the playground, went to the library and (my husband took them) rollerblading thinking that they would be totally exhausted. Nope.

Eff you for taking time away from my husband and I. Sometimes I forget what it’s like to have an adult conversation or run a functioning household together. By the time our spawns do fall asleep (ever) we’re usually both ready to veg out in front of the television or fall asleep reading the books that we’ve had to renew from the library twenty times, because we are totally exhausted!

Eff you for making us feel like horrible, terrible parents by having crack-like effects on our children.

Eff you for making me work while a small child insists on serenading me and asking me fifty million questions. I mean, this is the reason I waited all day to get my work done in the first place! Being a work-at-home mom is hard enough. I tell myself that I do this because it is what works best for our family, but does it?! Having to entertain two little people all day and then working all night (while still entertaining at least one of the little people hopped up on sugar) is not my idea of balance.

Ugh…they’ve got to crash sometime. Right??


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